Papa Ging
Papa Ging is the fourth element of the YEAH. He is the most laid back and the only YEAH who follows the rules made by the YEAH. He spends his days farming and milking cows. He controls all means of agriculture in the world. He sees immense profit increase during the wars made between Big Z and BroCon. However he takes the money and buys more livestock. His empire of animals are lethal and when angered or directed can cause earthquakes by quacking in large quantities. They also have built in flame throwers which they reach once they come of age. However, they keep this under the left earlobes. Orgins After the YEAH shattered, the essense of Papa Ging was sprinkled over the Western Americas. Throughout the ages no one ever liked gingers. As a punishment for the follicly challanged, they were kept indoors, chained to mops, and forced to eat dust bunnies. However, in A.D. 28, George was hatched out of the air ducts in one of the prisons. Ducks from around the world were reported missing following this tragic event. Many believe this caused the eruption of Mount St. Helens. The ducks ganged up on the pickles gaurding the prison and killed everyone inside except George. They took him among them and properly malnurished him. As a result he took up photobombing. In his spare time he farmed. Starting in the salt flats of Nevada, he grew corn that stretched for miles. Its even rumored some grew to be 28ft tall corn stalks. Over the next 41 years his farms grew vast and endless. His livestock became a large unconquerable army. George had became Papa Ging, sparking the Coriolis Effect and specific spontaneous combustion. Influence over the YEAH While Big Z is in great galatic wars with the other 4 YEAH, Papa Ging sits back and farms. He is the only one who correctly follows all of the rules. He is commonly called a loser and no one likes him except for Mama Rachel and his farming buddies. When the YEAH clashes, there armies need food. They seek Papa Ging for help because he is the only source of food in the YEAHniverse. Since he does not approve of the wars, he poisons the food with asbestos and brain tumors. Due to the sheer size of the armies no one cares. At meetings him and his main general cow, Sir Mr. Moo-Moo usually provides trasnport for Papa Ging. He sits around with his advisors, ranging from lilacs to giraffes to toothpicks, laughing at the other YEAH and there indecisive ways and wars. When its his turn to talk, he bambles on his tongue, WEE, and no one else but him knows what he is saying. The gum on the bottom of the desks has to translate. Since the gum despises everyone, it changes what Papa Ging WEE's, resulting in more chaos. After 2020 years, Papa Ging finally stopped paying any attention to the other YEAHs because he is a dork and is the only one to follow rules. Despite this, he gets along great with everyone and often has popsicle parties at his ranch. Raging Stampedes Papa Ging has the power over anything hotter than -460 Degrees Fahrenheit. However he does not like using this power except for keeping his farms warm year round. When threatened, he calls upon his livestock, mainly made of cows, ducks, ostriches, and goldfish among the ranks. They stampede at whatever direction they are facing. The enemy has to be looking toward the lead cow in order for them to be effective. The most effective stampede was used against Big Z when he invaded Earth. He was allowed to hide in the cornfields, but after the others followed, Papa Ging sent out a stampede of rhinos to remove them. When that failed, the reserve Snail Corps was called in. They effictively scared off everything. This is one of the only instances when Papa Ging has reverted to these tactics during local wars. The stampedes do great for clearing for farmlands. Whenever a farm acre is doing bad, Papa Ging sits in the middle naked in the fetel position crying. This causes the plants to live long and prosper. Then he calls in stampedes to ruin the corn stalks for doing good off his misery. Its a never ending palindrome. Expanding the farms As the other YEAH battled, Papa Ging stepped in a couple of times. Such instances are when Big Z was about to choke Altamont to death. Insanely pissed off, everybody was sent on a stampede stunning Big Z. Later, the weak races of Tripolaris were forced to Earth. Alongside Brocon he fought them off successfully, but suffered did suffer a good amount of his rabbit infantry. There was a memorial eradicated in the center of the Americas for those lost. It can still be seen today and is very famous for its corn bread. During the next 800 years until around A.D. 2, Papa Ging set out to build his vast empire. While the Altamont was busy in the Roman affiars, he was building many great nations. They flourished most in midline America and on the East Coast near the five Great Lakes, home to Papa Ging himself. The Great Lakes consists of five bodies of freshwater, the biggest on Earth. Saltwater makes Papa Ging nostalgic so he chose these monsters for his fortress. Lake Erie overseas his main castle, the Cleveland Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame. With its monster white walls and great bands, its said no one outside of the empire has ever been inside. Those who have never made it back out. In legend they are called "One Hit Wonders." They were most famous in the 1980s. Gaurded by staunt baseball pitcher Bob Feller and his fierce NIH-eating cow Randle, the ravaging races finally stoppe d trying to get inside by the time 1995 hit. Profitting of the wars of the YEAHniverse, the money made, amounting to 28 times infinity, was spent on getting more livestock. This was done for 410 years until the empire was big enough to self-sustain its numbers. Legend has it the livestock had to make a dangerous hike to Papa Ging once they came of age. However because this took them the rest of their lives, it was changed in A.D. 2060. All they had to do then was take a horse carriage to see him. Once there, they must complete tasks ranging from drinking Sunny Delight to chronic pooping contests. If they fail, they are given good spirits and try again after 28 minutes. Once passed, they recieve a mighty lock of hair from Papa Ging himself. Once bestowed upon them, there left ears came into role. Having great hearing through the nose, the ears were present for show. The right earlobe is indestructable from the time the coming of age at 28 years. This makes it the worse possible place, so instead the flimsy left ear is the ideal position for the hair. Once implanted, a flame thrower is now usable. It can spur flames from the never ending energy source of the hair follicle. Since Papa Ging is not for war, he makes them keep the flame thrower hidden. Only under certain circumstances when soap is the perpetrator, can it be used. It is outlawed during normal war, except for when the enemy is being majorly defeated. At the beginning tests, the rich soil near the Western coast of America was covered with trees and brushes. To access this, the covering had to be removed. Livestock were sent with there newly equipped flamethrowers to clear a set area of 41 acres. This was their first test after the coming of age ceremonies. The results were drastic. The strength and pure quack of the flames were too strong and scorched the earth. This left the climate hot and dry. The only upside was the races in the area used nearly formed adobe to its advantage for housing materials. In other areas the flame was so hot the earth rose out of the ground forming the Rocky Mountains. The fire literally was so hot it froze and covered the peaks with snow. In rare cases the earth broke. The best example is Copper Canyon in the southern leg of the Americas. Slowly and steadily Papa Ging took over all the farmlands in the Americas. By 1500, the farms were fully operational and under control. His empire was vast and thriving. The Human Development Index was a record setting .988. Life was great and there was no fear of the outside realms. It was not until 1542 that the realization of galactic sized problems occured. Great tire Fires of 1542 Papa Ging created an empire so mighty none could come close to even thinking of matching it. However, he helped the weaker empires by swallowing them up. Through this method he gained control of all usable farm land on the earth, minus Britian. He didn't want to interfer with the other YEAH residing on the planet. In 1541 a meteorite struck the earth. It did severe damage in the Eastern continents, damaging little farmlands. Everyone overlooked this drastic event, but it did have lethal results. Within a couple of months the impact site was able to be reached, due to the winter season blocking off all routes. When the local farmers finally reached the crater left behind, their elk starting going crazy. Not much happened in the next few months until July 12, 1542. The elk that had traveled to the crater lost their antlers. This had became a widespread event across the region. Elk everywhere were waking up without antlers on their head. The rest of the world got scared and turned to their potato stocks for food. However this happened in a very low amount of cases, and no elk were seriously damaged. This was the first time in empire history an event caused widespread mania and chronic bronchitis. Once again tranquility was restored and everyone went back to using toasters. Never again in the current history that has been decided has an event this catastrophic happened.